Today I asked two participants who attended the ENCT retreat, Connecting With Myself – Building self worth, self care, and self love, last June, how their lives had changed as a result of attending the retreat. This is what they said:

“The course gave me invaluable practical experience in the moment-to-moment process of connecting deeply with myself. This allows me to approach everyone with greater compassion and empathy. When I lose connection with myself in the busy-ness of life, I have very effective tools to quickly get myself back on track.”
Anne O’Casey, ENCT participant, June 2013

“I started on this journey because I wanted to connect more with those closest to me, and I realised that I can only start when I connect with myself first. I realised I wanted an outcome that was not achievable until I connected with myself first. Since doing the ENCT retreat last June I definitely have more consciousness about my responses. I am prepared to go more sloooowly, and that was a big one for me, because I was always interrupting, talking loud, and forcing my point of view. So going slow, taking time, connecting with myself and expressing that what I truly want is connection, is what has changed my life. When I get that about myself, then I can connect with the other.”
Alan Kras, ENCT participant, June 2013

Why is connecting with myself the starting point for connecting with others? Continue reading →

I have lost count of how many times I have been asked if I still have arguments in my own intimate relationships. And the answer is “yes”. Sadly, I still react unconsciously sometimes. So what is the difference between how I was behaving in my relationships in my youth – which never lasted more than 3 years – and now, in my present relationship – which is more than 12 years old?

The difference is that I am now able to reconnect sooner. In the old days it took weeks, months, sometimes years – and sometimes never – so we split up. Now it’s never more than a day. I have the tools . . . and the willingness to use them. Making amends by apologising in giraffe – connecting with my self, listening to my partner (with empathy), and expressing myself honestly without attack – are what restores harmony after I have blown up our bridge of connection. Continue reading →

Hi, For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Dorset, one of the three trainers who present the Embodying NVC Consciousness Training. Our next Retreat is about relating with the world and I have been doing that big time over here in Africa for the past 3 months!

I am still basking in the after-glow of the first African CNVC International Intensive Training(IIT), where I was delighted to be one of 4 trainers — from Canada, Holland, Germany and Australia — who contributed their time for free.

What a feat! Almost none of the 47 participants were able to pay for their room and board, let alone the training, so this was largely funded by generous donations from NVC supporters worldwide. If you were one of those, Thank You, Thank You !

It was so touching to see Christians and Muslims, policemen and teachers, farmers, tattoo artists and social workers from all over Africa, connecting on very deep levels and sharing their hearts . . . all whilst learning and practicing the simple yet powerful tools of Nonviolent Communication. Continue reading →

Neither rain nor wind nor even flood-waters ! could stop the February ENCT participants from making it to their ‘Intimate Relationships: Returning to Love‘ Retreat. For me, it was one of the best ever, despite the logistical challenges of ferrying everyone in and out in 4WD’s!

What a week; while the weather did its unpredictable thing outside, we cosied up inside for some intensive, explorative, playful and sometimes very challenging work that left me alternately exhausted and exhilarated! From the feedback received, I’m glad to say we’d call it another ‘successful ENCT Retreat’, with most newcomers signing up to continue with the full program including empathy buddying, coaching, webinars and more, over the next 8 months.

Since a measure of ‘success’ in NVC is through ‘needs met‘ I thought you might enjoy seeing how I’d sum up the February 2013 Retreat, based on chats with participants and trainers, as well as my own memories of the experience. For fun, I’ve put some of the needs met in bold. Continue reading →