We have just finished another enriching 5 day NVC retreat, Returning to Love: Growing Intimacy and Connection.
During this retreat one of the revealing themes (there were many!) was the exploration of how to relate from our most whole and loving self through recognising when we are operating from the different approaches of dependence, independence or interdependence. And essentially recognising that we are profoundly and deeply interdependent.
Since the retreat this recognition is making a HUGE difference in how people we’ve been coaching have been relating with their loved ones and experiencing connection. How choosing to respond from interdependence has been deeply enriching their relationships. By sharing some of these we hope to contribute to your depth of connection with those you care about.
Some examples they have found are: Continue reading
For about the first 4 years of learning NVC I struggled to make attractive requests – especially when it was for something I really cared about. My requests sometimes had an air of desperation to them and I didn’t understand why (more to that later).
After I attended my first NVC training, so much of my learning of NVC was through trial and error – and sadly that took me a long time. It didn’t have to take anywhere near as long as it did. If only I had the support of a community to learn and practice these skills with, and give me feedback, and teachers to share with me the important NVC nuances that can make such a difference. Continue reading
Have you ever tried to use NVC and wondered,
“What went wrong?”
You had the best of intentions, you got clear on your needs, you imagined what they may be needing, you stayed present. BUT… somehow it actually happened very differently from the sweetness of how you imagined the interaction would go. And perplexed, you may have wondered “what did I do wrong?”
I remember telephone calls with my ex husband where I wanted to work out some new arrangement. I would prep myself by connecting to what my needs are, what his might be, and still… argh! It was painful for both of us.
Sadly it took me many years to work out some of what might have been happening. I hope you may learn quicker than I did. Continue reading