Interdependence the new Frontier
We have just finished another enriching 5 day NVC retreat, Returning to Love: Growing Intimacy and Connection.
During this retreat one of the revealing themes (there were many!) was the exploration of how to relate from our most whole and loving self through recognising when we are operating from the different approaches of dependence, independence or interdependence. And essentially recognising that we are profoundly and deeply interdependent.
Since the retreat this recognition is making a HUGE difference in how people we’ve been coaching have been relating with their loved ones and experiencing connection. How choosing to respond from interdependence has been deeply enriching their relationships. By sharing some of these we hope to contribute to your depth of connection with those you care about.
Some examples they have found are:
- Noticing when they are reactive and going to withdraw from their partner, and instead choosing to reach out with honesty
- Recognising when they are holding onto past resentments and how this is keeping them separate from having the loving connection they truly want
- Noticing when their children are reaching out to them in various ways, and choosing to be more responsive and
- Opting for honesty from the heart (rather than trying to smooth an issue over), whilst staying open, available and curious to their partner.
Many of us have worked with NVC for some time and are able to identify our needs and take responsibility for them. But interdependence is a whole new thing. As the Dalai Lama says, we are dependent arising. What I do, and how I do it, affects you. What you do, and how you do it, affects me.
It is the basis of an enriching relationship.
Interdependence can be tricky to maintain, especially when blame arises. Yet by having the intention to connect, and using equal doses of empathy and honesty, we can stay fully self-connected and openhearted to each other.
Interdependence is the recognition and moving with this conscious awareness in how I interact moment to moment. It is finally becoming a mature adult in our relating It seems to me that interdependence is our New Frontier in human development.
If you are considering joining us for an upcoming ENCT retreat, you can pay the deposit now and join our monthly group coaching call to deepen and refresh your NVC skills in the lead up to when you start! Talk to Shari, Linda, Dorset or Merran for more information.